Elderly Children
Through my hazy vision,
I tried to reconcile the man you’ve become
With the one who once carried me atop his shoulders.
You whispered the story once again
Of when I was five and angry at my brother and sister.
I came to you, demanding you take my side
Against those "elderly children"
And then you said, "I guess we all get to be elderly children."
A last smile flickered on your face
As the past and present blurred.
Your skin seemed so pale in the harsh lights,
Paper thin as Mother and I bathed you.
You were too weak to manage a shower
Like you'd always been adamant about taking.
You called me to your bedside to talk about finances
And what to do "When this was all over."
I hope you were with that memory of us
When your heart grew tired, stuttered, and stopped
Two hours before dawn.
In your passing, did you kiss my sister
As you looked down upon her sleeping form,
Stopping her clock upon the nightstand as you left?
Did you hover over my brother to bid him farewell
Since no one could lure him to your bedside
While there was time?
And what did my dreaming eyes miss?
When your spirit departed this world,
What was your goodbye to me?
Did you tell me that you loved me,
Your youngest daughter
Who thought you’d never die,
Leaving only a pain like razors
Sliding down my raw throat.
Maria Rachel Hooley spends her days teaching high school English and writes in her spare time. Her work has appeared in Kimera, Westview and Blood Feathers among other journals.